


Haunt you like a ghost

by IamIronfan



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-06 23:37:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20515397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IamIronfan/pseuds/IamIronfan
Summary: After the snap Tony goes to the Parker's apartment in Queen's to retrieve anything Peter left behind linking him to Spider man before the building is sold. Even though he is gone, Tony feels the need to protect the kids identity. Angst ensues.





	Haunt you like a ghost

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I had some huge writers block for my story Way Down We Go, but I'll have a chapter for that up soon as I've had some inspiration for it!  
Also this is an idea that popped into my head and I just banged it out tonight. It's just kind of a angsty drabble but I hope you like it.  
I also have a tumblr! https://myanxietyhasanxieties.tumblr.com/ (not an edgy username, actually just always suffering from crippling anxiety -_-) I would love to interact with the fandom more, so follow me if you want. I might post more short stuff on there but I have like 2 followers so there's really no point currently lol  
also idk I just name fics after lyrics in songs I'm listening to. (Broadripple is burning - Margot & the nuclear so and so's)

Tony woke up slowly that morning, which was a rarity for him these days. Most times he woke from sleep it was in a panic as nightmares faded back into reality. Reality wasn’t far off from nightmares anymore though. Usually he woke in a mess of sheets tangled around his sweating body. Not today though, maybe even deep in sleep he knew that he wasn’t ready for today. 

The egyptian cotton sheets were still tucked around his body as he sat up slowly. Rubbing his eyes he looked to the clock on his bedside table and saw that it was just past noon. Pepper had long since woken up to tend so SI business and had left him to sleep. He felt a rush of gratitude towards his wife. 

Pepper had been endlessly gracious and gentle towards him in the process of recovering from his trauma due to what happened when he left New York on that damn flying donut of a spaceship. Normally she didn’t coddle him too much, she was rough with him because he had always needed someone in his life who wasn’t afraid to call him on his bullshit. With everything that happened, he appreciated her not pushing the topic. 

They’d talked that night and she knew what happened. He’d even told her about Peter, about how the kid had begged him not to die. How Peter’s last words had been ‘I’m sorry’ before he floated away into nothing. Gone. 

Before he’d made it back to earth due to Carol Danvers, he’d had a lot of time to dwell on those two words. Floating around in an endless void of space didn’t leave you with much else besides your thoughts. Peter had said he was sorry because of what Tony had told him when they’d argued after the ferry incident. 

_ “And if you died, I feel like that’s on me.”  _

Even in Peter’s final moments of life when he knew his life was slipping away, he’d still apologized to Tony. Peter’s spider sense would have been overwhelming in that moment, as that was just another shitty detail that made it’s away into Tony’s brain while lost in space. Even in that moment of terror and crisis, because Peter Parker had idolized him for some godforsaken reason, he’d remembered that conversation then.

_ “I don’t need that on my conscious.”  _

Well in an unforeseen turn of events he wished for nothing more than for Peter to know his death was weighing on his conscious. Only not in the way he’d meant it that day when he’d been angry. No Peter’s death weighed on him because he fucking missed the kid. He’d gotten attached to the infectious energy the kid carried around with him. Attached to the unapologetically nerdy pop culture references dropped daily. 

He missed sessions in the lab where a fifteen year old kid was able to keep up with him in ways nobody else had been able to before. He missed the stories the kid would bring with him. He missed the way those brown eyes used to look at him with such happiness. 

“Tony, are you awake?” Pepper asked popping her head in the door, a smile touching her lips as she saw him sitting up in bed. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, not a single fly away hair. A living image of perfection and grace as always. 

“Yeah, just woke up actually, thanks for letting me have a lie in Pep.” He said with a smile as he admired the woman who was his. 

“Of course. You need to sleep every now and then.” She said with a roll of her eyes as she sat down next to him on the bed. She held his hand in her own and squeezed it gently. 

“You’ll be good here today?” He asked and she just raised her eyebrows at him with a cocky expression. Right. Stupid question. Pepper Potts had done more for SI in the past five years than he had probably done in his whole life in most aspects.

“Will you be okay?” She asked softly, her expression softening. Looking into her eyes he saw the concern and confusion in her eyes. 

“Yeah just a quick trip to Queens.” He said steadily, standing up and making his way to his dresser a short distance from the bed. She was silent for a moment before she spoke again.

“We could just buy the apartment Tony. I mean it’s pocket money with how things are going to start selling, there’s too many empty buildings, not enough money for the people who still own them.” She said and her tone was thoughtful. Tony cringed as his back was still turned to her. She hadn’t meant to be so blunt, he knew that, she was a business woman and this could be solved with a simple transaction.

“I don’t want the apartment.” He said firmly as he pulled a shirt over his head and turned back to face her. 

“Then why are you going there?” She asked and her voice was gentle, he knew if he chose not to tell her she wouldn’t push it. There was curiosity in her eyes though. 

“I know it’s going to be picked over and all their stuff put into storage somewhere by one of those moving companies popping up everywhere. I know that kid probably left some of his gear lying around.” Tony explained because it was a large part of the truth. Even though Peter was dead, he still felt a fierce need to protect the kids identity. Peter had always cared so much about that.

“Okay.” She said standing up and smiling at him despite her uncertainty on the subject. He knew she still didn’t understand this strange mission he was going on today to retrieve the last of Spider man’s things. 

“I love you.” He said kissing her on the lips before she pulled away and nodded.

“I love you too. I’ll see you tonight.” She said leaving the room, the clicking of her heels down the hallway disappearing after a moment. 

  
  


Tony was pleased to break the lock on the apartment in Queens. It meant nobody else had yet, which was a shock really with the crime spikes. Stepping into the quaint apartment he closed the door behind him slowly fighting the urge to run out of it.

It felt strange walking through the Parker’s apartment. It felt wrong somehow despite his intentions behind the visit here being good. He shook his head, bitterly thinking about how it didn’t matter anyways. Peter Parker and his Aunt May would never enter their apartment in which they had built their lives in ever again. 

That was a large part of why he was here today, the part he couldn’t express to Pepper because it was just utterly depressing and she’d suffered enough through his sorrow already. Today was him saying goodbye to Peter. It was the only way left and he was the only left to do it.

It made him angry. The ugly and angry side of grief rearing its head knowing that there was no one left on earth who would remember just how great Peter had been. It was a weight he alone would have to carry, and god was it a heavy. 

He strolled passed the living room filled with books and funny little trinkets that the occupants had collected. Feet carrying him forward despite his uncomfortability, he found himself outside of a bedroom door. With a hefty sign he turned the handle and pushed it open.

Inside was a room that clearly belonged to the kid. It was littered with pieces of what had made Peter who he was. From star wars posters plastered on the walls, to nerdy science shirts thrown over the back of a chair, to the desk littered with Stark tech that Tony had forced the kid to take. It was chaotic in here, in all the best ways. 

Reaching over he grabbed a bin that had been filled with random items and dumped them onto the bed. He carried the bin back over to the kids desk and sighed as he looked at the confirmation that Peter had left behind pieces of Spider man. 

Peter may have been sucked up into space with his original suit, along with the Iron Spider suit that had been put on over it, but that hadn’t been all. On the desk were a spare set of web shooters the kid had clearly been working on the night before he went to school thinking it would be like any other day. Tony threw them into the box along with the open notebook beside them with complicated equations that broke down the web fluid. 

He opened the drawer below and pulled out several vials labeled web fluid and tossed those in as well. Walking back to the closet he knocked the trap door down and out fell a very tattered original costume. It looked like one of those onesies all the stores sold at christmas time, only like it had been set on fire and ran over with a lawn mower. 

Tony was surprised to some capacity that the kid had kept it, he’d only really checked to cover his bases. His heart constricted as he wondered if Peter had kept it thinking he might need it again. Perhaps the kid has thought Tony would take his suit again if he messed up. Tony bowed his head, his grip tightening around the worn fabric. 

He’d grown to care about the kid, love him even if was willing to be honest with himself. As much as he’d beat himself up over it his whole life, he’d never really been much like his dad once he’d stopped drinking. He’d liked having Peter around, he’d liked the way the kid had clearly looked up to him, and god if he hadn’t been in such a shitty spot with Cap when he’d met the kid it would have been different. 

Because he always thought the world would bend to his needs when he wanted it to. He supposed he was like Howard Stark in that sense. Selfish. He’d been selfish to treat Peter shitty, just assuming he’d have all the time in the world to fix it between them because the kid clearly worshipped him. He threw the onesie into the bin with the other items and tried to compose himself. 

There was a shelf in the corner full of science awards and photos that caught his attention however and he made his way towards it. It was full of photos of the kid with his aunt and uncle, his friends, and one from his childhood with two people Tony was sure had been his parents. The woman in the photo had curly brown hair identical to Peter’s and the man a similar good natured smile. 

Along with them though was a photo Tony had forgotten had been taken, which was silly really because he shared the glass frame with Peter in this one. It had been right before May had discovered the truth about Peter and Spider Man. Together he and Peter had come up with an idea to stage some pictures and a plaque to really play up the internship. 

They’d had quite a time drawing up a fake diploma on Tony’s computer and printing it off. Peter had been so horrified when Tony had ripped one of his many awards off the shelf to use the frame to put the fake document into instead. Happy had pretend to hate taking their picture so many times but his old friend had ended up laughing along with them in the end. It was so domestic and stupid, and just so happened to be one of Tony’s fondest memories.

Peter had kept the photo they had ended up choosing, he’d even framed it, and here it sat on his shelf. With a shaking hand, Tony reached out for the photo and collapsed into the desk chair looking at it. 

Peter looked so happy in the photo, his eyes full of that childlike innocence and happiness that shouldn’t have been so present in a kid who’d suffered so much. Yet it was always there, that adoration and blind trust he’d given to Tony even though Tony had dragged him to fight the Avengers in germany. Even though Tony had ditched him after that. Still there even when Tony took the suit and left him defenseless against Adrain Toomes. 

Tears welled in his eyes and grief once again hit him, and hit him hard. Pepper hadn’t understood why he wanted to come here today. It wasn’t just about getting the traces of Spider Man left behind. Today had been about saying goodbye. 

There would be no funeral for the bright eyed kid in the photo. Without a body there was no point right? Peter’s body had been reduced to ash on a foreign planet. The kid’s family and friends had suffered the same fate, shit even Happy was gone. 

Tony threw the picture hard against the wall and sobs racked his body. He’d failed, miserably and utterly. Stephen Strange had given away the last stone to spare him, and for what? To sit in a dead teenagers room, in a horribly quiet New York city that should be bustling with life and noise. 

He didn’t understand. 

He’d come to the conclusion that he never would. 

He sat there a while longer as tears slipped out of his eyes, cascading down onto the carpet below him. Standing up slowly, he made his way over to the bin on the desk and threw Peter’s laptop into it as well. He knew it was full of emails to him along with files linked to their work in the lab. 

He put the bin under his arm and went to leave. He stopped at the door though and bent down onto his knees. Regret bubbled him as he picked up the now shattered picture frame. Gently he finished taking it apart and pulled the photograph from in it and placed it into the bin. He was keeping the photo. 

Someday he would need to see it when it hurts less. Something to keep him from ever forgetting about the kid from queens. He would show it pridefully to his own child when they grew up and heard stories of Spider Man, because Tony now knew about the baby growing Peppers stomach.

Another photograph fell out of the frame however and landed near his shoe. Curiously he picked it up to see what had been in the frame before. Heart stuttering he read the caption on the back, and flipped it over hurriedly.

There was a boy standing there doing a classic Iron Man pose, a cheap mask covering his face. Tony knew the kid, he’d seen the footage from that night played over, and he remembered it vividly. 

Flipping the photo over one more time he read the caption again.

_ Peter, Stark Expo, 2010 _

He felt sick. He remembered crash landing next to the kid and blasting the suit that was about to kill him seconds before it had been too late. 

He’d been a curse on Peter Parker’s life far earlier than he had ever known. 


End file.
